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BRIDGING THE GAP OF SEPARATION
BETWEEN CHILDREN AND THEIR FAMILIES

The Annie E. Casey Foundation Family to Family tools use the concept of a four stage bridge
to symbolize the process by which foster/adoptive families and a child's birth parents grow to span the gap between them. Each stage involves an increased degree of personal contact. The lists of tips below are for social workers, foster families, and birth families alike to ease passage through the stages.

 

A Continuum of Contact for Social Workers  
  • Encourage exchange of information between birth and foster parent
  • Set clear boundaries for contact
  • Have birth /foster parent exchange pictures
  • Facilitate the development of a collaborative relationship between birth and foster parent
  • Talk positively about birth parent to foster parent
  • Debrief foster parent regarding birth parent problems/needs
  • Talk positively about foster parent to birth parent
  • Participate in visitations
  • Arrange phone contact between foster/birth parent
  • Talk openly with birth/foster parent about their concerns
  • Share all information with foster /birth parent
  • Help foster parent understand the birth parent's problems
  • Encourage foster parent to host sibling visits
  • Encourage foster parent to transport child to home
  • Describe foster parent in non-identifying terms at placement
  • Assist birth parent welcoming foster parent to home
  • Exchange monthly progress reports with birth/foster parent
  • Permit foster parent to invite birth parent to attend all appointments
  • Serve as positive role model to foster/birth parent
  • Encourage foster parent to allow birth parent to call foster home
  • Assist foster/birth parent in understanding cultural differences
  • Assist foster/birth parent in managing conflict
  • Insure the foster/birth parent attend agency meetings
  • Mediate and resolve conflicts
  • Facilitate conversations between birth/foster parent
  • Assist foster parent in welcoming birth parent to home
  • Have foster/birth parent work on lifebook together
  • Empower foster parent to set limits and boundaries regarding contact and visitation
  • Encourage birth parent to permit foster parent to call home
  • Allow foster/birth parent to schedule all visitation
  • Schedule regular and frequent visitation
  • Encourage post reunification contact
  • Serve as liaison between foster and birth parent
  • Suggest that foster parent can provide respite care after reunification

 

A Continuum of Contact for Foster Parents
  • Exchange letters with child's family via social worker
  • Share parenting information
  • Call child's parent on phone
  • Attend staffings, SAR's reviews
  • Request pictures of child's family to display in child's room
  • Help birth parent find community resources
  • Give parents pictures of child
  • Encourage/reassure reunification
  • Share copies of homework and report cards with family
  • Attend training to learn how to work directly with birth parent
  • Have positive view of child's family
  • Share child's lifebook with parent
  • Talk openly with child about family
  • Learn about, understand and respect the birth parent's culture
  • Send snack/activity for visit
  • Take/pick up child to/at parent's home
  • Encourage parent's progress
  • Serve as parent's mentor
  • Dress child up for visits
  • Review child's visits with parent
  • Provide written information for SAR
  • Give parent's verbal progress reports
  • Share monthly progress reports with parent
  • Ask parent to come to appointments
  • Foster parent hosts/arranges sibling visits
  • Foster parent transports birth parent to meetings
  • Brag to parent about child
  • Assist in planning child's return to birth home
  • Request cultural information from birth parent
  • Welcome child's parents into your home
  • Talk with parent at visit
  • Attend parenting classes with parents
  • Encourage parent to phone child
  • Arrange family visits with parents
  • Meets child's family at placement
  • Serve as support to family following reunification
  • Non-threatening attitude
  • Foster parent provides respite care
  • Refer to child as "your child" to birth parent
  • Include birth parent in farewell activities

 

A Continuum of Contact for Birth Parents
  • Send cards/letters to child at foster home via social worker
  • Include foster parent in visitation activities
  • Send family pictures to child via social worker
  • Do not make unrealistic promises to child
  • Attend all visits/meetings
  • Avoid giving child a specific date for reunification
  • Attend all classes/appointments
  • Learn about, understand and respect the foster parent's culture
  • Make regular contact with social worker
  • Invite foster parent to your home
  • Plan special activities for visits
  • Phone child at foster home
  • Remember child's birthday and holidays
  • Invite foster parent to child's birthday party
  • Talk with child about separation
  • Discuss case plan progress with foster parent
  • Write down info about child such as diet, routine, habits, etc.
  • Review child's behavior with foster parent
  • Send medical/school/etc. records to foster parent via worker
  • Invite foster parent to attend parenting classes with you
  • Encourage child to cooperate with placement
  • Ask foster parent for help in locating community resources
  • Share critical cultural information with foster parent
  • Include foster parent in child's return home
  • Discuss child's activities with foster parent at visits
  • Visit child in foster home
  • Share family information with foster parent
  • Work with foster parent on discipline problems
  • Arrange phone calls from child
  • Call Foster parent for help with parenting problem
  • Develop positive relationship with foster parent
  • Allow child to keep in contact with foster parent after reunification
  • Talk with foster parent at agency meetings
  • Work with foster parent to solve school problems
  • Give foster parent your home phone number
  • Include foster parent in holiday celebrations
  • Attend school meetings with foster parent
  • Show appreciation to foster parent
  • Help develop the child's lifebook`
  • Offer to take child to appointments for foster parent

 

From the Annie E. Casey Foundation Family To Family Tools for Rebuilding Foster Care

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(607) 272-0034 • www.nysccc.org

05/29/2007