Ask the Experts!!

A Prospective Adoptive Parent Writes:

My husband and I (both European descent with light features) have two biological children (blonde hair, light eyes). We are very seriously considering adopting one or more children from Ethiopia, but we have also considered other countries. Our desire to adopt is out of the hope to have a larger family, not necessarily to rescue anyone.

My husband is also in the military. We move frequently, and will continue to do so for many years. Becuase of this, the ethnic make-up of our surroundings is ever-changing! I see this as a benefit, but after reading every question/answer on here, I am wondering how we will ensure that our adopted children will have the network of support that they need! (With a few exceptions, the only long-standing relationships in our lives are with our European-American families.) We already read many of the books that were mentioned in one of the questions to our children, our daughter has dolls with different color skin, my best friend's husband is of East Indian descent (and has very dark skin), and we would endeavor to know families of all colors wherever we live (not to mention take trips to Ethiopia, learn that specific culture, etc.). Yet, after reading all of this, I have a bit of a sinking feeling. Do you think that we are getting in over our heads; without being able to have deep roots in one community, is it possible for our adopted children to be well adjusted & comfortable with their identity?

I really appreciate all that I have read here; what a great resource this is! Thank you!

 

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John Raible Answers:

In my opinion, your instincts are on target. You are wise to think long and carefully about the kinds of communities (and role models) you will or will not be able to provide for all your children, especially your adopted children of color.

Interestingly, children adopted from Ethiopia (and other parts of Africa) may have more in common with other immigrant adoptees than with African American children who are adopted domestically. This can be viewed as an advantage, in that you may find more communities and resources to address the special needs of international adoptees in places where there may not be the same resources for families touched by transracial (domestic) adoption. For example, even if there are no other Ethiopians in your community, there may be other refugee and immigrant populations who share similar experiences with coming to the US, displacement, and so on.

On the other hand, black African children still will face racism, regardless of their place of birth. One advantage, then, of living in a diverse community and befriending African American families is that your whole family can benefit from the insights and strategies that African Americans have developed to deal with racism. Either way, it takes a village to raise a child. Choose yours with care.

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