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An Adoptive Parent Writes:

I am a single mother of two beautiful biracial children. I am white, and their father is black. The oldest son is dark with dark hair and eyes, while the youngest one's skin tone is the same as mine (white). He also has blue eyes and a blonde fro. I have not yet cut his hair and he is now 2. It is very curly and long. However I am afraid that when I do cut it, his hair will form a different texture. I need to know what I should do to his hair. Have any ideas? Thank you so much for your help.

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John Raible Answers:

The good news about hair is that it (usually) grows back! That is, you can experiment with cutting it and styling it in different ways with little fear of permanent damage. Having said that, do keep in mind that over-processing hair, especially with harsh chemicals, can cause damage. My advice is to consult someone with experience in caring for and styling hair like your son's. Talk to other parents of black and biracial kids, or take him to a barber or salon that caters to a multicultural clientele.

Also, please remember that this is your son's head, not yours, and allow him to have a say in how he wears his hair. As he grows up, it will become more important for your boy to fit in with his peers. Part of feeling good about ourselves as biracial (black/white) people is knowing that we have the option to adopt black hair styles if and when we want to. If you are not comfortable with cutting his hair, don't just shave it all off. What looks like an okay hair cut to your untrained eye may set your son apart from the African Americans he may seek acceptance from. In other words, staying up to date on changing hair styles in the black community may become important as your son matures. Becoming knowledgeable yourself is one step you can take. Giving him access to people who look like him, and allowing your son to see multiple ways to handle his kind of hair is a gift you can give him by immersing yourself in black and multicultural social networks.

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