Ask the Experts!!

A Prospective Adoptive Parent Writes:

We are a Caucasian couple who have begun the adoption process here in New Zealand. I have my heart set on adopting from South Africa, two boys of Zulu heritage.

New Zealand has its multi-cultural cities, but we are dairy farmers in a predominately bicultural area (Maori and Caucasian). I know an African family in our neighboring town, and my sister, who is local, is due to have a biracial son. I have inquired into African social groups to join or African shops in our country and there is basically nothing out there. There is a local South African support group, yet the members are Caucasian. However, New Zealand is generally a very multi-cultural country and most New Zealanders are quite accepting of minority groups. Many children in South African orphanages are very similar in appearance to Maori and Samoan people here in New Zealand, both cultures of which are well integrated into society.

I intend to establish a voluntary organization teaching youth agriculture and will return to South Africa regularly.  I have always had a very strong passion for South Africa and a spiritual bonding to the country (If I can say that without sounding silly) and have already partially adopted the country, race, culture, and heritage as my own and intend to adopt it fully. I will be in South Africa for at least three months of each year, and my sons would be fully immersed in their county of origin and race during those visits.  I also wish to learn Zulu fluently and will converse with my sons bilingually. 

I will provide as much of South African heritage, language, culture, toys, ornaments, posters, etc., as I can whilst we are back here in New Zealand. I feel certain that in every way possible I will do what's right by these boys, and they will have pride in their culture and heritage and who they are. However I was wanting to know from an expert what your opinion is on this circumstance, or if you can see any issues that may arise that I may not have considered.

Your opinion would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for your time.

 

---

John Raible Answers:

It is interesting how the transracial adoption discussion here in the States is becoming much more international in scope. I welcome the chance to talk about the topic from multiple perspectives, and move beyond the debate about the right of white American parents to adopt African American children, as if that were the only dilemma. Now to your question:

I hope that you will find ways to fully integrate your lives as white parents so that your social circle will include MANY, not one or two, Zulu and other black adults. In order for your future sons to feel good about their heritage - and about you as their parents - they will need to see you comfortably interacting with adults who look like themselves. If you say you care about Zulu culture but they never see you associating with black South Africans, they may question your sincerity. For instance, they may feel that you have a superficial or even patronizing attitude towards their heritage.

Another consideration if you do decide to raise them mostly in New Zealand is the type of social environment you will provide for them. Will they at least be able to go to school with other black children who look like them, even if they are the only South African boys in the school? Will they be able to see black adults in positions of authority as teachers, principals (heads of school), doctors, dentists, and so on? Is there a South African immigrant community you can participate in, in or near your city? The main thing is to find ways to bring real, live adults in to your family's life, adults who reflect diversity, particularly South African heritage.

One of the worst mistakes would be to downplay diversity and believe naively that race won't matter in your sons' lives. Race does matter and will continue to matter. A great gift will be for you to provide them access to their community of origin.

NYSCCC Home Page             Transracial Voices & Resources