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An Adoptive Parent Writes:

My husband and I are interested in adopting an African-American child domestically. We are both Caucasian and have a four year old biological daughter. We had been leaning towards adopting a bi-racial child, in the hopes that they would be able to identify with us on some level ("my birth mother / father is white"). However, we have been reading about the additional challenges that bi-racial children face, in identifying with one or the other culture. My background is in counseling and I am very in tune with cultural issues, however, our community is primarily Caucasian, Asian, and Middle Eastern. Do you have any advice about possible differences between raising a bi-racial vs. African-American child? Thank you so much for your help!

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John Raible Answers:

Adopting a biracial child does not make the transracial adoption issues any easier to deal with simply because the child is "half white." As the child grows older and encounters prejudice and racism (at school, in play groups, among parents of peers he or she may want to date in adolescence, etc.), the child will not be granted immunity because he or she is half white. In other words, a racist store keeper following her around, or a racist police officer interrogating him will not give him/her the benefit of the doubt just because the child is biracial. Racists will react to the child based on physical appearance, such as skin color and hair texture. If biracial children can be visibly identified as persons of color, they are guaranteed to face racist treatment at various points in their lives, starting in childhood. There is no way around this sad but important fact of life in a color-conscious society.

The question for would-be parents of children of color, then, is: How will you prepare them to deal with racism? How will you give them access to adults who look like them and can teach them strategies and survival skills to effectively minimize the effects of racism? How will you find cultural teachers to mentor them in the traditions, values, world views, and history of the communities they come from?

In other words, instead of worrying about whether the child will identify with you, think about how you yourselves will identify with African American culture and black adults. (In truth, our dependent children have no choice BU to identify with us, the parents who love and care for them.) Where will you, as an interracial family unit, be better off living? What kind of multicultural schools will you want your child to attend? Where will you find black barbers, hair care specialists, doctors, dentists, teachers, principals, day care providers, baby sitters, and others to demonstrate on a daily basis that you fully support and integrate with all kinds of African American individuals? If your child sees no one who looks like him or her in the social environment, he/she will wonder about where he/she fits in and belongs, and why you as supposedly "tolerant", non-racist parents are yourselves apparently not comfortable around other people with brown skin.

In short, integrate your lives, don't simply expect your adopted child to do the integrating all on his/her own. You may find that you will need lots of time to fully explore the implications of integration and what that might mean for your family, long before you adopt a child of another race or culture. A bit of further advice: Since you already have a biological child, it would be in your family's interest to read up on mixed families, where some of the kids are adopted and some aren't. The family dynamics are different (than when all the kids are adopted), and provide unique challenges for adoptees and non-adopted children alike. Best wishes in your pursuits!

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