Ask the Experts!!

An Adoptive Parent Writes:

My husband and I are white parents with two biological children and four (soon to be six) adopted black children. We live in a decent, lower middle-class suburban area, and up until now have had no problems with our kids' schools.

Our middle two children (a boy and a girl) are age 7 and currently in the second grade. Our son has sickle cell disease, FAE, and has some attachment issues. He's also as smart as a whip and very handsome, charming, and impulsive. We are finding that his teachers seem to have much lower expectations for him simply because they first knew him as our foster son and know some of his history.

For example, in Kindergarten he was home with the chicken pox for a few weeks and learned to read simple books. We also wrote some books together and he illustrated them. When he went back to school, I made a point of talking to his teacher and bragging about how well he was now reading and asking her to have him read his books to her.

My follow-ups with the teacher were met with disbelief that my son could actually read because they did not reinforce these skills. From that point on, I've sent him to school, but he did most of his actual learning at home evenings and weekends.

Last year, we atttempted to educate his teachers on how early neglect and abuse can affect neurological development. We discussed exercises and strategies for keeping him on task, but they didn't want to work with us and suggested we look at "medical interventions."

His sister is having no problems academically but struggles constantly for acceptance because she is emotionally very immature for her age. Her behavior with peers is more at the level of a four or five year old.

In addition to the educational difficulties, I can't believe the language and ideas the kids bring home. Our oldest two children are 14 and 12, and they didn't hear the sexualized language and ideas that our second graders are bringing home.

At this point, I feel like I've given it a good shot, but I can teach my children better while providing them with the nurturing they need for emotional growth if I homeschool them. My only concern is that they are already different because we're a multi-racial family, and I worry that this will be yet another thing to "defend" to others. Our local homeschool association is entirely white and I've been unable to find a diverse homeschooling association. We do have friends and neighbors of other races and many community events in the city (15 minutes away), but I would appreciate your opinion on this.

 

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John Raible Answers:

I think the decision to home school your children may be a sound one, provided that you make every effort to provide a truly multicultural education.

This means, first and foremost, finding ways to access communities of real people, and not simply focus on multicultural heroes and holidays. I know there are home schooling groups made up of people of color, and others that are more mixed. Try finding them online. With access to the multicultural world at your fingertips, there is no reason to remain isolated (literally or virtually) in an all-white envorinment.

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