Back to Ask the Experts Page Back to NYSCCC Home PageAn adoptive parent writes:
My partner and I are a "professional" white and Jewish queer female couple. (We noticed on the Discovery Channel's Adoption Stories, when there's a gay couple, they're introduced as "professional gay couple." Why not just "gay couple?!") We're considering all of our options for starting a family, transracial adoption included. We live in a culturally and racially diverse neighborhood in Chicago. We love the city, and plan on staying here. We have friends of all colors, nationalities, religions, lifestyles, etc.
We stumbled upon your site randomly, and we're glad we did. We've never seen you lecture, and honestly, we're not clear just by reading the Ask the Expert section if you're more pro or con transracial adoption.
We love the idea of having a multicultural family, but we want what's in the best interest of our (future) child.
Should African American children, which we're strongly interested in, ideally be placed with African American families? Considering it's not an ideal world, what are your feelings?
John Raible Answers:
I find it interesting that people still try to figure out if I am for or against transracial adoption, so I am glad you asked the question. I am actually glad to hear that you cannot discern my stance (if I have one) just from reading my postings. Not that I am trying to be coy, but rather, I see my role as simply pointing out how complex the issue remains. Transracial adoption is not a simple matter of black or white; as with most issues, there are many shades of grey to consider. Furthermore, I'm sure you will understand when I say that my personal opinion one way or the other is irrelevant. What matters most are your own feelings and thinking on the topic, and how open you are to learning more, about racism AND about adoption.
Those who have followed my personal (and public) journey over the years can tell you how my stance has changed over time. For a time (during the 1980s and early 90s), I fell into the cynical trap of giving up on the ability and/or willingness of white parents to ever truly understand the issues of race and racism faced by adoptees of color (and other non-adopted people of color). As I spent more time traveling around the United States to speak at adoption conferences and so on, I began to meet--every now and then--a few individual adoptees and adoptive parents who I thought had developed a pretty sophisticated understanding of racism, AND an ability to respond to it in a genuinely anti-racist way. Meeting these individuals allowed me to once again feel hope about the potential for white parents to not only learn to see life from the perspective of people of color, but also to start behaving like other parents who are raising children of color.
At the same time, I continue to meet parents who not only have no clue about what it takes to raise a child of color in a racist environment, but they actively resist opening themselves to new knowledge and perspectives. These parents have frequently bought into the myth of the U.S. meritocracy that encourages the misguided belief in personal responsibility for oppression. Often, such parents cling to an outmoded and idealistic color-blind stance that denies the reality of racism and the ongoing importance of color-consciousness in the institutionalized system of rewards and punishments that others have labeled white supremacy.
In my view, the white individuals who have been able to develop a deep and sophisticated understanding of race and racism usually come to this awareness by being immersed in communities where they have the experience of being in the minority themselves. Sometimes they are married to or partnered with people of color, or they have other long-standing ties of friendship and chosen kinship with adults of color. For instance, they may live in predominantly African American or Latino neighborhoods and attend worship services in churches, temples, and mosques where they are in the minority as white people.
In my own research with the white siblings of transracial adoptees (that is, white adults who grew up in transracial adoptive families with Korean or African American brothers and sisters), I came across this phenomenon, which I describe as transracialization. That is, the identities of certain white individuals can become transracialized through participation in long-term relationships of caring with adults of color outside their families. You can read about this in forthcoming articles and in my chapter in the book Outsiders Within, which will be available in August 2006 from South End Press.
In the end, whether John Raible is for or against transracial adoption matters little. What really matters is your own readiness to take on this awesome responsibility. So my question to you is, are your lives already transracialized? If not, why not? And how do you plan to transracialize them? Transracial adoption works best, in my opinion, when white people actively transracialize their own lives and the lives of all members of their family. It requires a huge commitment to break out of the comfort zones that racialization encourages us to stay inside. But transracialzation may be the best way to finally integrate our still highly segregated society. It certainly addresses most of the issues that will confront transracially adopted individuals, as kids and in adulthood, for the rest of their lives. If you are actively transracializing already, more power to you.
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03/30/2006