NYS Citizens' Coalition for Children, Inc.
410 East Upland Road • Ithaca, New York 14850
(607) 272-0034 • www.nysccc.org

Stress in Families

At some point all families encounter change, stress, and perhaps even crisis - the family moves, a parent is laid off, child-care arrangements fall through, a new step-family comes into being, the car breaks down, a child becomes ill, the rent is increased, and on it goes. The families you will encounter in your work as a CASA/GAL volunteer are, by definition, under stress and are likely to be in crisis - if for no other reason than that the state is now involved in determining whether their child remains in their care and custody. 

There is a certain level of stress that comes with a family’s involvement in the child protective services system. Additionally, many individuals and families have to deal on a daily basis with the stress of societal prejudice because they are people of color, gay or lesbian, poor, disabled, or Jewish; because they do not speak English fluently; or because of many other “differences.”

Some families cope well and adapt effectively to stress and crisis; others do not and become overwhelmed. Families that are not able to cope well are often isolated from resources, face a variety of challenges, and are stressed by numerous problems that compound one another. These families may develop patterns that lead to and then perpetuate abuse and neglect.

Change comes to all families in endless form and variety – birth, job changes, death, or normal child development.  What we often refer to as stresses are really life changes all of us must face at one time or another.  All families must have some structure and all families must deal with change.  But not all families deal with change or stresses the same way.  The family dynamics which lead to and perpetuate abuse are extremely complex.  It is important to remember that the source of child mistreatment is seldom found in any one element or in a single cause. Typically a combination of factors gives rise to unacceptable treatment of children.

Risk Factors Associated with Abuse and Neglect

The source of child maltreatment is typically some combination of people, environment, opportunity, and needs. Risk factors for child abuse and neglect include child-related factors, parent/caretaker-related factors, social-situational factors, family factors, and triggering situations. These factors frequently co-exist. Poverty is often a complicating issue, creating problems in a family and reducing the resources they have for addressing problems. Poverty in and of itself is not child neglect.

Conditions That May Lead to Abuse & Neglect

Child-Related Factors

• Chronological age of child: Fifty percent of abused children are under the age of three; ninety percent of deaths are under one year of age; first-born children are most vulnerable;
• Mismatch between child’s temperament or behavior and parent’s relating style and expectations;
• Physical or mental disabilities;
• Attachment problems or separation from parent during critical periods or reduced positive interaction between parent and child;
• Premature birth or illness at birth: Financial stress, inability to bond, parental feelings of guilt, failure, or inadequacy; and/or
• Unwanted child or child who reminds parent of absent partner or spouse.

Parent/Caretaker-Related Factors

• Low self-esteem: Neglectful parents often neglect themselves and see themselves as worthless people;
• Abuse as a child:Parents may tend to repeat their own childhood experience if no intervention occurred in their case and no new or adaptive skills were learned;
• Depression: May be related to faulty brain chemistry and/or a result of having major problems and limited emotional resources to deal with them. Abusive and neglectful parents are often seen and considered by themselves and others to be terribly depressed people;
• Impulsive: Abusive parents often have a marked inability to channel anger or sexual feelings;
• Substance abuse: The “high” resulting from drugs and/or alcohol serves as a temporary relief from insurmountable problems but, in fact, creates new and bigger problems;
• Character disorder or psychiatric illness;
• Ignorance of child care and child development and unrealistic expectations;
• Isolation: Abusive and neglectful families may tend to avoid community contact and have few family ties to provide support. Distance from, or disintegration of, an extended family that traditionally played a significant role in child rearing may increase isolation;
• Sense of entitlement: Belief that it’s acceptable to use violence to ensure child’s or partner’s compliance;
• Mental retardation or borderline mental functioning.

Social-Situational Factors

• Abuse occurs in the family context. It is important therefore to understand the factors that may affect the family unit as a whole.
• Structural/economic factors: The stress of poverty, unemployment, little mobility, and poor housing can be instrumental in a parent’s ability to adequately care for a child. The child needs to be protected from separation from his/her family solely because of stressed economic conditions. Middle- and upper-income abusive parents may use the excuse of job or financial stress as well—abuse is not limited to families in poverty;
• Domestic violence: Children may be injured while trying to intervene to protect a battered parent or while in the arms or proximity of a parent being assaulted;
• Values and norms concerning violence and force, including domestic violence; acceptability of corporal punishment and of family violence;
• Devaluation of children and other dependents;
• Overdrawn values of honor between men, with intolerance of perceived disrespect (“dissing”);
• Abnormal child-rearing practices (e.g., genital mutilation of female children, father sexually initiates female children);
• Cruelty in child-rearing practices (e.g., putting hot peppers in child’s mouth, depriving child of water, confining child to room for days, or taping mouth with duct tape for “back talk”); and/or
• Institutional manifestations of all of the above in law, health care, education, welfare system, sports, entertainment, etc.

Family Factors

• Domestic violence can indicate an inability of one parent to protect the child from another’s abuse because the parent is also being abused;
• Stepparent, or blended, families are at greater risk: There is some indication that adult partners who are not the parents of the child are more likely to maltreat. Changes in family structure can also create stress in the family;
• Single parents are highly represented in abuse and neglect cases: Economic status is typically lower in single-parent families, and the single parent is at a disadvantage in trying to perform the functions of two parents;
• Adolescent parents are at high risk because their own developmental growth has been disrupted: They are ill-prepared to respond to the needs of the child because their own needs have not been met;
• Child-rearing styles that are punishment-centered have greater risk of promoting abuse;
• Scapegoating of a particular child will tend to give the family permission to see that child as the “bad” one; and/or

Triggering Situations

Any of the factors above can contribute to a situation in which an abusive event occurs. There has been no systematic study of what happens to trigger abusive events. Some instances are acute, happen very quickly, and end suddenly. Other cases are of long duration. Examples of possible triggering situations include:

• A baby who will not stop crying;
• Frustration with toilet training;
• An alcoholic who is fired from a job;
• A mother who, after being beaten by her partner, cannot make contact with her own family;
• Being served an eviction notice;
• The cessation of prescription drug used to control mental health problem;
• Law enforcement is called to the home in a domestic violence situation, whether by the victim or a neighbor; and
• A parent who was disrespected in the adult world later takes it out on the child.

Group Exercise: Which Situation is Hardest?

On the following questionnaire, rank your top three choices for the situation that would be the hardest for you to work with.  After you made your choices pair up an answer the following questions and share a sample of your responses with the larger group:

(1) What situations did you pick and why?
(2) How might your values thoughts and feeling about these situations impact your effectiveness as a foster parent?

Which situation would if be hardest for you to work with:

• A parent who spends most of her money on drugs.
• A parent who believes his wife/partner deserves the beatings he gives her.
• A parent who lies to you.
• A parent who fondles his four-year-old child.
• A parent who used drugs during pregnancy
• A parent who refuses to take the medication that controls his mood swings.
• A parent who left his children in the care in a parking lot while he went drinking at bars until closing time.
• A parent who won't leave the man who physically abuses her in front of her children.
• A parent who is so depressed she doesn't get out of bed for weeks at a time, which means her children do not eat regularly.

These descriptions include situations of mental illness, substance abuse, and domestic violence—three factors that put children at high risk for abuse and neglect. Consider these statistics:

• Estimates are that fifty percent of men who batter their female partners also abuse the children in the home.
• Fifty to eighty percent of all substantiated child abuse and neglect cases involve some degree of substance abuse by the child’s parents.

From Violence and the Family: Report of the American Psychological Association Presidential Task Force on Violence and the Family, American Psychological Association, 1996.