Adoption counselors know that parenting an adopted child is different from parenting a biological child and that it requires special knowledge and skills. Many counselors are less clear about specialized strengths and abilities needed in transracial adoption and may be unsure of how to assess and enable families seeking such adoption.
Adoption counselors and adoptive families learned more last fall about meeting these challenges. Dr. Joseph Crumbley, DSW, a Philadelphia family therapist with expertise in transracial adoption, conducted a two day workshop sponsored by the Center for Adoption. This article is based on Dr. Crumbley's presentation, with much of it taken directly from handouts he provided.
Families planning to adopt any child often begin with a number of assumptions such as:
Families are told during the adoption preparation process that these assumptions are not accurate. When a child is placed, they come to know the facts of adoption:
Transracial adoption presents additional issues, including:
Families planning to parent any child will examine their lifestyles, considering whether their environment will be positive for a child. They may talk with neighbors and friends about schools. They will notice the make-up of their neighborhood; are there other families with children nearby? Will friends accept their child and be a positive influence? They will pay attention to enrichment opportunities - music, sports, libraries, their church's programs for children. If important qualities are lacking, a family may change their lifestyle, cultivate new friends or move to another area.
Families thinking of adopting transracially may need more sweeping changes than those adopting a child of the same race. Some questions they might ask themselves:
The family must consider how to proceed if their current situation would not be positive. Would they be willing to move to another neighborhood - one with a mixture of races? Would they be willing to seek organizations where they can make friends among another race? If their church is predominantly one race, are they willing to locate and join a culturally diverse congregation?
The family should consider whether they have ever experienced prejudice or discrimination. If not, how will they help their child cope with prejudice? To prepare, the family may put themselves, a number of times, into group situations where they are of a different race from the rest of the group. In this way they will experience the feeling of being in the minority and learn to understand and relate to what their child would experience every day if placed in a school, church or other group where everyone else is of a different race. Conversely, after such experiences, they will discover that entering a group of people who look similar to them allows their minds, bodies and spirits to relax.
In an article from Adoptive Families (November/December, 1994) entitled "Facing Prejudice," Holly van Gulden and Lisa Bartels-Rabb wrote:
"If your child is nonwhite living in America, it is inevitable that, at some time, he or she will encounter racism in one form or another. He may be called a name, picked on, or excluded by other children - or worse, by adults. Most white parents wait until that first injury to talk with their children about racism. Most African-American families, and other people of color, warn their children about the cruelties of racism before they encounter it firsthand. Telling your children about racism before they encounter it is like having your children vaccinated for measles before they're exposed to the virus."
Bartels-Rabb and van Gulden add that, whether warning your child about racism or discussing an actual occurrence, the basic points to talk about are:
For anyone, aggressive response to every unkind word or act would be exhausting and not always productive. The important things for you and your child to know is when to act or react. For example, if racism is directed at a child by adults, adoptive parents will need to step in and decide how to respond.
The African-American child, says Dr. Crumbley, must be prepared for being perceived often as a minority member first, an individual second and for being judged on the basis of prejudice and stereotype. Although it is unfair, the child must be aware that his or her behaviour will impact society's perceptions of other minority members. Adoptive parents will need to help their child to be politically aware, active and committed to advocating for equal rights for the minority group as well as for the individual.
With so many specialized abilities need to parent transracially, where are such families found and how can we recognize them when they appear? What assistance can they be given during the study process to better prepare them for success?
Desirable capabilities for transracial parents include:
It is true that love is not enough to make any adoptive placement successful. However, without unconditional commitment and the development of love, a placement will not succeed. One of the best things parents can do for children is simply enjoy them, to treasure and celebrate likenesses and differences and to let them know that they are wonderful people!
Joseph Crumbley DSW, is in private practice as a consultant and family therapist. He is the author of Transracial Adoption and Foster Care: Practical Issues for Professionals and co-author of Relatives Raising Children: An Overview of Kinship Care. Dr. Crumbley was a keynote speaker at the 1997 NYS CCC annual conference. For information about Dr. Crumbley's publications, including training video tapes on Transracial Adoption, or to contact him about presenting to your group, visit his web site at: http://www.drcrumbley.com.
NYS Citizens' Coalition for Children, Inc.
410 East Upland Road • Ithaca, NY 14850
(607) 272-0034
office@nysccc.org
11/02/01