A Parents View of Post Adopton Services

By Lois Hnizdo, President, Foster Parents Advisory Council of Suffolk County, Inc.

Excerpt from a letter to the Suffolk County Department of Social Services, May 16, 1998

New York Signing before the judge does not eliminate the needs of our children, and oftentimes a whole new problem may arise necessitating further treatment. The judge might be able to create family, but, unfortunately, he certainly cannot cure one. Therefore, the need is very real for post adoption services.

Sadly, the agency has not yet recognized the need or acknowledged its responsibility in this area. The number of children requiring out of home placement after adoption is increasing at a rapid rate. The emotional and financial costs of disruption are overwhelming, both for the families and the systems charged with their care. "You want them, you got them" is a policy that cannot be tolerated as it is emotionally bankrupting and financially devastating to all those involved.

A post adoption support system should include the following as first steps to disruption prevention:

• 24-hour telephone access to help--with human, not voice mail answering.
• Weekly telephone contact with the child and family for six months, biweekly for the next six months, once a month for the following year, and as deemed necessary after that.
• A buddy system. A family should be in touch with another family in the same situation. Both can act as sounding boards in time of need.
• Short-term counselling for families.
• Short-term respite care should be available for family time-out or a cooling off period.
• Parent support group membership and attendance should be encouraged.

The second step in post adoption support services is crisis intervention and family management. This is a more intense, long-term, problem solving, and management intervention project. It should include some or all of the following, as individually necessary.

• Long-term counselling, including child, parent, extended family, peer, and group sessions.
• Behavior specialists or dispute mediators. This may include neighborhood and police involvement.
• Family life support. This should be sensitive to cultural, ethnic, religious, and lifestyle differences.
• Support services through local school districts should be accessed.
• Networking with other parents through support group attendance.
• Social activities should be encouraged to "lighten the home atmosphere."
• Monthly supervision of the home to build personal rapport and a trusting relationship.
• Advocacy for appropriate on-going services, as necessary.
• Referrals for out of home placement coupled with continuous family therapy during out of home placement, with the goal of return home.

By instituting appropriate support services we might prevent some placements from disrupting and keep families intact. We will have fewer children aging out of the system and into homelessness and onto the streets, where we would have to begin all over again with the next generation of failed children.

3/13/03